I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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