This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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