i think my tv is drunk
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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