I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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