Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
