i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i think i just lost a toe
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
