I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
