Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
