He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
