I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
