I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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