Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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