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Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize