He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
