And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
