I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
