And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize