Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
