What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
