I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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