I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
