shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
