I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
