Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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