I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
