i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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