Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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