I'm really into asian looking animals
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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