i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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