if i can run in heels then i can drive
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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