I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
