HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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