therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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