he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
