Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
