Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
