Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
