so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
