the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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