My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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