My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize