This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize