i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
