You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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