I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
