playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
