Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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