Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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