did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
