I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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