My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
