I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
