I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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