how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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