felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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