I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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