I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
