we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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