I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
