dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
