I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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