i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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