All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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