Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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