She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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