so explain again why im purple
no
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
