This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
