I got chris browned last night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
