sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
