How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want her autograph on my taint
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Randomize
