id be glad to
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize