For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
