We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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