so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
