this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
