If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
