I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize