out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
