when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize