I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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