I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
