Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
