I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
