The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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