Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm both gender and math confused
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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